Your Body Doesn’t Speak English — This Is the Language It Understands
“Real communication happens through sensation, not speech.”
TL;DR – The Heart of It:
Your body doesn’t respond to logic—it responds to sensation, safety, and rhythm. Healing happens when we speak its language, not when we try to override it with thoughts.
Words can’t regulate a nervous system that doesn’t feel safe. Practices like breath, touch, movement, and environment are how the body receives reassurance.
Somatic work is effective because it meets the body where it lives. Regulation isn’t forced—it’s allowed through presence, attunement, and conditions that support trust.
Why Your Body Isn’t Listening to Words
I used to think I could logic my way out of a panic attack.
I’d feel my chest tighten, that familiar edge of overwhelm creeping in—and I’d start bargaining with myself in my head. “You’re fine. You’ve survived worse. Just breathe.” I’d repeat comforting phrases. I’d try to talk myself down like I was negotiating with a scared animal.
But it rarely worked.
Because here’s the truth: my body wasn’t scared because it misunderstood English.
It was scared because it didn’t feel safe. And no amount of pep talks or well-crafted affirmations could override that.
It took me years—and a lot of unlearning—to realize that the body doesn’t respond to what we say. It responds to what we feel. It listens for the subtle language of breath, tension, rhythm, and presence. It’s fluent in tone, gesture, and sensation—not syllables.
So much of modern healing still centers on mindset. And while thoughts do matter, they’re only part of the equation. You can have the most positive self-talk in the world and still be locked in a stress response. You can understand exactly why you’re anxious—and still feel like your body is betraying you.
But your body isn’t betraying you. It’s communicating in the only way it knows how.
When your heart races, your stomach drops, or your shoulders curl inward, that’s not irrational. That’s your nervous system speaking. And if we want to shift those patterns, we have to learn its language: one built not on productivity or willpower, but on safety, rhythm, and somatic cues.
What Does It Mean That “Your Body Doesn’t Speak English”?
We’re taught to trust words. To explain how we feel. To talk it through. And yes, language can be powerful. But when it comes to regulating the nervous system or healing from trauma, words can only take us so far.
Your body doesn’t operate in logic. It operates in sensation.
It listens for signs of safety or threat through posture, breath, temperature, tone, and subtle shifts in environment. You can repeat “I’m fine” all day—but if your jaw is clenched, your breath is shallow, and your muscles are tight, your body still thinks it’s in danger.
That’s why it’s so confusing when we know we’re not in danger, but we still feel panicked, shut down, or wired. It’s because the body and the mind process experience differently.
Your thinking brain (the neocortex) speaks in language and logic.
Your survival brain (the brainstem and limbic system) speaks in patterns, posture, and protection. And when the two conflict, the survival brain wins every time [1].
So when people say things like “just relax” or “you should be over it by now,” they’re often speaking to the wrong part of you. Because trauma doesn’t live in memory—it lives in the body. It shows up in the way your chest tightens when someone raises their voice, or how your breath shallows when you’re misunderstood.
Even chronic stress—not just trauma—settles into the body in long-term ways: in your digestion, your sleep, your breath. A 2018 study in Frontiers in Psychology found that somatic markers—physical sensations tied to emotional memory—play a key role in shaping behavior, often outside of conscious awareness [2].
So when language fails, it’s not a personal failure. It’s simply a mismatch of communication styles. And when we begin to understand what the body actually listens to—rhythm, presence, and sensory input—we stop trying to force it to comply, and start learning how to relate to it differently.
Why Doesn’t Talking Always Help the Body Feel Safe?
You can explain your trauma. You can name your triggers. You can recite every affirmation in the book. But if your nervous system is still stuck in a state of threat, none of that will land where it needs to.
That’s because verbal reassurance doesn’t always register.
Not in the places that most need it.
The parts of your brain responsible for keeping you alive don’t process words. They process tone, tempo, facial expression, and energy. You could say “you’re safe” out loud, but if your voice is tight or your breath is shallow, your body won’t believe it.
This is the core of polyvagal theory, developed by Dr. Stephen Porges. It explains how our autonomic nervous system is constantly scanning for cues of safety or danger—through a process called neuroception, which happens entirely below conscious thought [3].
We move through different nervous system states throughout the day:
Ventral vagal: calm, connected, regulated
Sympathetic: fight or flight
Dorsal vagal: freeze or shutdown
Most verbal processing happens in the thinking brain. But trauma—and much of our emotional reactivity—gets encoded through the vagus nerve, which connects the brainstem to the heart, lungs, and gut [4]. That’s why trauma shows up in the body—not just the mind.
This is also why traditional talk therapy, while deeply helpful for many, doesn’t always reach the body’s survival patterns. I’ve had clients who’ve done years of therapy, processed their childhoods, read every book—and still flinch at touch or shut down during conflict.
Because insight doesn’t equal safety.
In fact, research led by Bessel van der Kolk has shown that bottom-up approaches—like somatic therapy, bodywork, or movement—can be more effective in reducing trauma symptoms than top-down cognitive methods alone [5].
If you’ve ever felt seen in therapy—but still carried the anxiety in your chest afterward—you’re not broken. You’re just ready for a different kind of conversation—one that speaks your body’s native language.
“It doesn’t matter what the mind says — if safety wasn’t felt, the body won’t believe it.”
What Language Does the Body Understand?
If your body doesn’t respond to logic, what does it respond to?
Sensation. Rhythm. Presence.
These are the body’s original languages. They’re how we learned to feel safe long before we ever spoke. They’re what your nervous system listens to now, even when your conscious mind is somewhere else.
Here are four of the most powerful ways to communicate with your body in its own terms:
1. Breath and Rhythm
Your breath is a direct dial into your nervous system. Fast, shallow breaths signal stress. Slow, intentional breaths say: You’re okay now.
Studies show that longer exhales activate the parasympathetic nervous system and improve vagal tone—supporting calm, regulation, and emotional resilience [6].
Try this:
Inhale through your nose for 4 counts
Exhale through your mouth for 6 counts
Repeat for 2–3 minutes
You don’t need to “do it right”—you just need to let your body feel the rhythm shift.
2. Touch and Pressure
Safe, attuned touch is one of the oldest tools for co-regulation.
When offered gently, it activates C-tactile afferents—nerve fibers that signal comfort and emotional safety to the brain [7].
This kind of touch isn’t about fixing. It’s about listening with your hands.
Ways to try this:
Hand over heart and belly
Pressed palm to sternum
Weighted blanket or grounding shawl
3. Stillness and Movement
Stillness can only feel safe when it’s chosen.
Otherwise, it feels like shutdown.
Mindful stillness—lying down on purpose, pausing without distraction—reminds your body you’re not in danger anymore. But gentle movement—rocking, walking, stretching—also helps complete stress cycles and settle the system [8].
Rhythm is what your body recognizes. Predictability calms it.
4. Environment and Sensory Cues
Lighting. Scent. Texture. Temperature. Sound.
All of these communicate safety (or threat) long before the mind catches on.
Creating a sensory-safe space doesn’t require perfection—just intention.
Warm lighting, soft textures, natural scents, and slow ambient music can downshift the nervous system and invite stillness in.
What Happens When You Finally Speak the Body’s Language?
When your body feels safe, it begins to let go—naturally, without force.
You don’t have to chase regulation. You don’t have to earn your calm. You just have to stop overriding your body’s signals and start building a relationship with them.
Here’s what often shifts:
Anxiety softens—because tension is no longer the baseline
Sleep deepens—because the body trusts the pause
Emotional clarity returns—feelings move, rather than shut down
Resilience builds—not from toughness, but from capacity
Self-trust grows—because your body becomes a partner, not a threat
This is the work I do through Veluna Wellness. Not fixing. Not correcting. Just creating the conditions where your body is finally allowed to exhale.
“Healing begins the moment you stop overriding the whisper.”
How Can You Start Relearning This Language in Daily Life?
You don’t need a perfect routine to reconnect with your body. You just need a few regular moments of attunement. Here are five:
Body Scan Before Bed
Start at your feet and move upward. Don’t try to relax—just notice what’s there. This builds interoception, the skill of sensing your internal state, which is essential for nervous system awareness [9].
Hand on Heart During Overwhelm
Use touch to signal presence. Let the warmth of your palm be enough. This taps into your body's hardwired touch-based safety pathways.
Exhale Longer Than You Inhale
Try 3–4 count inhale, 6–8 count exhale for three rounds. This simple practice calms the vagus nerve and supports regulation [6].
Ground Through Your Feet or Nature
Barefoot grounding has been shown to reduce cortisol and improve nervous system balance [10]. But even standing indoors with awareness helps.
Schedule Stillness—Even 5 Minutes
Let your body exist without needing to do or fix anything. Stillness is where the deepest listening begins.
Is This Why Massage and Somatic Work Are So Effective?
Yes—because they speak the body’s language.
Massage, craniosacral therapy, and somatic touch work not by “fixing” but by offering conditions of attunement, rhythm, and presence. They bypass cognition and meet the nervous system directly.
Touch activates co-regulation. Stillness invites settling. And safety creates the space for release.
Research on craniosacral therapy has shown statistically significant improvements in anxiety, sleep quality, and physical pain after treatment [11], and massage therapy is well-documented for its ability to reduce sympathetic nervous system arousal [12].
At Veluna Welness, this is the heart of the work: not clinical, not spa-like, but sacred.
Each hold, stroke, breath, and silence is a conversation your body already knows how to have.
Sometimes, it just needs someone to speak it back.
“The body remembers what safety feels like — not through words, but through presence.”
Final Thoughts: Stop Arguing with Your Body—Start Listening
Your body isn’t broken. It’s not too sensitive or behind schedule. It’s just communicating in the only language it remembers: sensation, rhythm, and the constant question—am I safe?
Instead of pushing, reframing, or trying to reason your way out of discomfort, try asking:
“What would help this part of me feel a little safer right now?”
That question is the start of fluency.
The start of repair.
Because once your body feels met, it doesn’t have to fight to be heard anymore.
It can rest.
It can soften.
It can heal.
Want to Work Together?
Veluna Wellness will be opening in Santa Fe, New Mexico later this fall.
If you’re craving bodywork that honors your nervous system, creates space for emotional safety, and speaks the language your body actually understands—I’d love to work with you.
I’m not booking just yet, but the waitlist is now open for early access to sessions once I launch.
✨ Join the Waitlist Here →
(I’ll only reach out when booking opens—no spam, ever.)
This work is slow, sacred, and intentionally designed for those who are ready to soften without force. If that’s you, I can’t wait to connect.
References
Siegel, D. J. (2012). The Developing Mind: How Relationships and the Brain Interact to Shape Who We Are.
Damasio, A. et al. (2018). “Somatic Markers and Emotional Decision Making.” Frontiers in Psychology. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2018.01129
Porges, S. W. (2011). The Polyvagal Theory: Neurophysiological Foundations of Emotions, Attachment, Communication, and Self-Regulation.
Cozolino, L. (2014). The Neuroscience of Human Relationships.
van der Kolk, B. (2014). The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma.
Jerath, R. et al. (2006). “Physiology of Long Pranayamic Breathing.” International Journal of Medical Sciences. https://doi.org/10.7150/ijms.3.73
McGlone, F. et al. (2014). “Discriminative and Affective Touch: Sensing and Feeling.” Neuron. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.neuron.2014.05.001
Nagoski, E. & Nagoski, A. (2019). Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle.
Mehling, W. E. et al. (2012). “Body Awareness: A Phenomenological Inquiry into the Common Ground of Mind-Body Therapies.” Philosophy, Ethics, and Humanities in Medicine.
Chevalier, G. et al. (2012). “Earthing: Health Implications of Reconnecting the Human Body to the Earth's Surface Electrons.” Journal of Environmental and Public Health. https://doi.org/10.1155/2012/291541
Matarán-Peñarrocha, G. A. et al. (2011). “Craniosacral Therapy and Anxiety.” Evidence-Based Complementary and Alternative Medicine. https://doi.org/10.1093/ecam/nep125
Field, T. (2014). “Massage Therapy Research Review.” Complementary Therapies in Clinical Practice. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.ctcp.2013.04.002
